Day 14 - You Are Not Alone - Apraxia Awareness Day

Day 14 of Better Hearing and Speech Month

You Are Not Alone - Apraxia Awareness Day

This morning, I got up and put on my blue 2012 Apraxia Walk shirt and Bee-bee met me in the kitchen wearing hers and we took our picture and I posted it on FB.  Cha-cha was still sleeping as I left, but his blue shirt was waiting for him.  I brought to school (my work) more ribbons to replenish the ones that were taken in the teacher's room yesterday so more of my coworkers could wear them.  As I was writing my morning message, FB was exploding with messages from CASANA, Apraxia Kids, and the friends I've made who also have children who have Apraxia.  Posts and pictures from friends and their kids, Cha-cha's daycare provider, and friends sharing other statuses about Apraxia, made my heart soar.

Yes, it sucks to have a child who has this neurological motor planning disorder, but the biggest message that I got from today is that we are not alone.  There are other children out there and other moms just like me, who are fighting for awareness and pushing for better treatments and therapies to help our children.  There are some friends who don't even really know what Apraxia is, but today, wearing that ribbon, they supported Cha-cha and what he goes through every day.  Seeing the ribbon on coworkers who work on opposite sides of the building, who I barely see, made me smile and even tear up that they are with us.  They are learning what Apraxia is about and they too want the best for children who have this disorder.  Hearing about how my school psychologist and how she explained to a kindergartener why she was wearing a ribbon today was pretty amazing.  Having a coworker ask me how Cha-cha was doing and progressing made me proud of our efforts.  Seeing my principal explain to our new principal candidate and Superintendent about how our school joins together to support each other, as she was wearing a ribbon and pointing out a picture of "Cha-cha" - priceless.  Hearing Bee-bee explain to her after-school counselor about what Apraxia is and how it effects her brother - amazing.

I feel very fortunate to have such great family and friends - and an extended family and friends in the Apraxia Community.  We may not always agree on what therapy is best or what diet works with our kid this week or what brand of Omega-3 supplements you should/shouldn't be giving - but we're all trying to figure this out - together.  We are not alone.

May 12 - Mother's Day and the "Normal" Stuff

Day 12 of Better Hearing and Speech Month

Mother's Day and the "Normal" Stuff

I've been writing now for 11 days about CAS and how it pertains to our family.  CAS is not the only thing we focus on as a family - there are plenty of other "normal" day to day things that Hubby and I have to juggle  to make our family work.

Take this past week for instance - On Thursday, I had work obligations at a retirement, Bee-bee had ballet class and Hubby couldn't take time off of work to get her there and back.  Thankfully my dad was able to pick her up and a good friend was able to drive her to my work at the end of the party, meanwhile Cha-cha's daycare provider kept him later than usual for me so we could make it all work.  It's a fine balance that any parent has to go through to make the dance of parenting work.  On Friday, Bee-bee had Irish Step, so again, I had to make sure I got out of work on time, to pick her up at school on time, to get her home and dressed, to pick Cha-cha up on time, and then to get to dance on time.  Hubby had a night out with his friends, so I did the bedtime routine.  Saturday was speech for Cha-cha and soccer and team pictures for Bee-bee, a trip to a museum for Cha-cha and my cousin and her son, and then Hubby took the kids out to dinner so I could go out with a friend and he did the bedtime routine.  Of course then when I came home, we were getting ready for bed and Hubby let our dog Buddy outside, and sure enough, he was sprayed by a skunk.  At 11:00pm at night.  I don't think either one of us were happy, or had a lot of patience at that point - but we bathed the dog and I re-washed my kitchen floor and got myself to bed by 12:45am.

Today was Mother's Day.  Hubby had soccer, I had a visit with my sister, the kids and I baked brownies, and later on today we headed up to visit with my parents at their house.  We had some magical moments today - the two kids cuddling on the couch, the kids seeing the magical fairy doors that "appeared" in my parent's crab apple tree, Bee-bee finding money in behind the fairy doors, eating popsicles on the rock with Cha-cha, watching a dog try to swim in a puddle, and Hubby taking Bee-bee to the carnival near our house.  All of these things could be "normal" in any family - special needs or no special needs.

So where does Apraxia fit into all of this?  Well, it's integrated into who our family is.  We had to remind Bee-bee many times not to butt into Cha-cha trying to talk.  We had speech yesterday that sort of turned into a disaster because he wanted a certain toy from Toys R Us that he perseverated on from the night before.  We paused countless times so we could understand what Cha-cha was saying.  We had to translate to Bee-bee what Cha-cha was saying, even though he said it and she refused to listen to him because he didn't say it directly to her. We repeated many times what we thought he said back to us.  We asked him many times to speak up.  We asked him many times to make eye contact.  We asked him many times to repeat 2-4 times what he said so we could try to understand him.  We sat through at least 5 screaming in frustration tantrums today alone.  Do "normal" families have to go through this?  They probably do, just I don't know to what extent, because this is our "normal."

Day 10 - Siblings

Day 10 of Better Hearing and Speech Month

Siblings

If you google search "special needs siblings" you come up with a bunch of really great articles and blogs related to children whose siblings have special needs.  I came across two great sites - Siblings and Children with Special Needs and What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know.

Bee-bee didn't ask for a brother with special needs.  Granted, Cha-cha's special needs are not as severe as others, but Bee-bee's life is a little different than her peers who don't have a sibling with special needs.  For the most part, Bee-bee has been very positive about her brother.  She's even attended more therapy sessions than Hubby thanks to EI before he was three and weekday afternoon speech sessions.  She's attended some doctor appointments and watched her brother recover from surgery twice.  She's heard me talk about my frustrations and she's seen my tears.  She's been the biggest cheerleader to get Cha-cha to say words, and I've seen her throw mini temper tantrums when he can't say something right - especially when it's her name.

In the past year, we've really stepped up and offered opportunities for Bee-bee to do things on her own.  Overnight trips to grandparents' houses, dance lessons, and soccer practice and games have been added into her life to give her space and her own time.  Hubby and I also plan time for her to spend with us one on one and do special things with us so she doesn't feel left out.  She only attends one of Cha-cha's therapy sessions a week (and she's expected to complete her homework during that time).  When she complains, we often remind her that her brother now sits through her dance classes and occasional soccer game.  I've also now made it a point to not have her come to Cha-cha's major doctor's appointments.  Dentist and sick visits are fine, but now that they are both older, he should have the same privacy that she has with her doctor.

There have been some benefits to having a sibling that needs a little bit more attention.  Bee-bee has incredible patience and has had the opportunity to watch specialists and therapists model techniques and at a young age, she could apply them.  When Cha-cha was diagnosed, the doctor told us to come up with a nickname for Bee-bee so that her brother had a name for her so they could interact.  That's how "Bee-bee" came to be.  Bee-bee spent an entire hour in the pool with her brother saying, "Say Bee-Bee" when he wanted her to swim over to him under the water and say "Boo!" when she got to him. Within an hour, he had it down pat.  They were both determined and they did it together.  Within another hour, she had him saying "Ma-ma" for the first time.  All because of her.  We had spent 2 years 4 months and countless therapy sessions trying to get him to say it and it just took his big sister and a pool to get him to say it.  When she was 5 and heading into Kindergarten, she told me, "I don't know if I'm suppose to study my Kindergarten stuff or my Speech Pathology stuff." At 5, she knew the difference between an utterance, an approximation and a word and she knew over 50 different ASL signs. She has the ability to be creative and entertain herself when I'm working with Cha-cha.  On her own, she brought in her "My Brother is Very Special" book to her first grade class and read it to teach everyone what Apraxia is all about.  She's walked in 2 Apraxia walks, and is registered for her 3rd (however, it was a tough lesson to learn that she wasn't going to be directly getting the $250+ she raised for the first walk).

When it is all said and done, I hope that Hubby and I have given her and her brother a "normal" childhood.  I hope that she doesn't dwell on the negatives of having a brother with special needs, but that it teaches her to be more understanding of others and maybe even spark a career in a helping or medical profession.

May 7th - Teachers

Day 7 of Better Hearing and Speech Month

Teachers

Today is Teacher Appreciation Day! As a teacher myself, this day does not go unnoticed. With the upswing of Pinterest and Social Media, it's hard not to know that it's today or what sort of cool craft moms will put together for their child's teacher. When I first started teaching 12 or so years ago, it wasn't really a big deal, but over the years, I've seen parents and administrators increase awareness and say, "Thanks."

I come from a family of teachers and "helping" professions. My mom is a high school art teacher, my mother-in-law is a former elementary school librarian and Kindergarten assistant, one of my sisters is in nursing, while my other sister is a social worker and studying to be a nurse, and my sister in law is a special education assistant in a preschool. Teachers are helpers, but we are human too. We make mistakes and we do our best to service all children-some of us do it better than others, but unlike what my daughter thinks, we don't go into this profession to make kids' lives miserable. ;)

My children have had incredible teachers. From the start with daycare providers, they have helped mold and shape where our children are today. My children become a part of them, because they give a part of themselves to my children.  I may not always agree with their style or approach, but I know my children are better people for having these wonderful people in their lives.

Bee-bee's teacher this year is fantastic.  She's a little old school with a dry sense of humor, but I still remember Bee-bee's first day of 1st grade this year, when she came home raving about Mrs. H - she said, "She's awesome!  She's funny, nice and fair." I took that as a great compliment towards her teacher.  Bee-bee also loves her specialists and even the lunch/recess monitor Mrs. S.  This year has been a little tough for Bee-bee recently due to some anxiety about school, but her teacher is being very proactive and helpful, and for that we are very grateful.

Cha-cha has been with his current teacher since last Spring.  She is also a little old school and is retiring this year, but she has a fantastic way about her with special needs children.  She's very animated and provides a safe and nurturing environment for the children.  I feel she's asked to do a whole lot with minimal support, and the way she manages it is impressive.  Cha-cha also adores his classroom paraprofessional and often talks fondly of Ms. S.  He also has a school PT who he enjoys spending time with and he's been getting to know a new SLP after his old one walked out in December.  He has a fantastic at home daycare provider that started out as Bee-bee's when she was 9 months old and now Cha-cha has the opportunity to be with Ms. W.  Her calming demeanor and relaxed way about her is a perfect match for Cha-cha.  I feel very blessed that both have had an opportunity to spend time with her.

This week, I was talking to my friend about her job in the corporate world and about how feedback is a main motivator for her job.  She talked about how a client gave positive feedback to her bosses and how one of them didn't share it with her and how it hurt her feelings that she had to hear it from another person and wasn't appropriately recognized for it.  She told me how positive feedback is a huge motivating factor in the corporate world.  Yes, I get a few thank yous from my students and positive feedback from my coworkers, and occasionally my principal will stop by and give feedback on a lesson or situation, but rarely do parents take the time to write a handwritten note of thanks or appreciation.  Let me tell you, when I do get a note, I cherish it.  It means a lot to me that a parent appreciates what I'm doing with their child.

So during this day or this week, when you get a chance, write your child's teacher a note.  Tell them thank you for their efforts. It doesn't need to be a big pinterest creation, but your kind and uplifting words may help them get through the day or the week. ;) Remember, these people spend up to 30+ hours a week with your child (elementary classroom teachers do at least).  They have a very good sense of who your child is and what your child's potential can be.  Being a teacher is not an easy job, but we do it because we love the children and the people we work with and sometimes, it's really nice to get that note of appreciation and recognition for what we do.

May 5th - Play

Day 5 of Better Hearing and Speech Month

Play

Play is an important part of a child's development.  You can look up any recommendation from any teacher, pediatrician, SLP, OT, PT, Child Psychologist and they will tell you that.  Play helps children develop skills needed for life.  Watching Cha-cha playing trains right now, he is demonstrating spatial awareness skills in setting up the trains, problem solving when the track doesn't go the way he wants it to go, and practicing scripts between trains as they pass each other on the track.  I'm sure there are more things he's learning by playing with his trains, but these are the ones stick out to me right now.

An early part of Cha-cha's therapy through Early Intervention was all based on play.  Toys were brought in and the goal was to elicit movement and language from him based on his play.  I still remember the SLP desperately trying to get him to say "up" and "down" with a ball maze.  Cha-cha would happily oblige to bringing the ball up when she said it, but we were lucky got get him to say "uh" maybe once or twice in an hour long session at 2 years old.  Now in therapy, it is still mostly play based.  Cha-cha picks toys out of the therapist's closet and she bases his therapy around the games and toys (often at a moment's notice).  It takes a lot of creativity to push him and engage him, but we're grateful to his SLP and her creativity that gets him to work hard towards achieving his goals.

I remember the EI Developmental Specialist exclaiming how advanced our children's play skills were, and I remember her asking me what I did to help facilitate it.  In our house, toys overflow the rooms - especially the living room where we spend most of our time.  To some, our living room is overwhelming with toy chaos, but for our children, it's their creative zone.  The hours they play are building blocks for learning, and they enjoy doing it close to us, but not always engaging us.  I joked that my children learned to play because I ignored them - which really isn't true, but to an extent my children were and are encouraged to play by themselves.  I distinctly remember from my childhood, playing in my room, dancing, singing and creating while my mom cleaned, cooked, or studied in the other room.  It wasn't that her or I are bad parents, we just allowed our children space to be creative.  We definitely do sit down on the floor and play, or work on something together, but they enjoy playing by themselves. My parents limited TV and we didn't have many video games (same with Hubby).  We try to limit TV and ipad screen time, but our children often get bored of TV and would rather play than watch it when it is on.  We also don't have any video game systems in our house.  I have to say, it makes for a quieter household. ;)

Something that Hubby and I also do is we take our children out - a lot. We have memberships to the zoo and to the science museum.  The kids like to hike the small "mountain" near a pond in our city. They love parks and exploring beaches.  When I send in Cha-cha's weekend note to share with the class (listing a good 6-7 events of his weekend), his teacher often comments to me that the thing that he talks about most about his weekend is playing with his toys or playing in the backyard in his sandbox.  Cha-cha looks forward to Saturdays and Sundays (and free weekday afternoons) playing with his "guys" (Imaginext figures), "wobbly-boots guys" (Matchbox Big Boots), playdough, and the Thomas Trains. He will often comment that he has a lot of "work" to do with his toys. Our living room (and the kids bedrooms) may look like Toys R' Us explosions, but great "work" is being done there.

What sorts of things do you do to encourage play in your house?

Almost the End of the Year!

Summer is just around the corner - we can taste it!

This is the time that I count down the days and I wake up in the morning praying that the day before was the last day of school.  I really can't complain as I only have 8 1/2 days left, but oh, I can't wait! :)

Cha-cha finishes school this Thursday and his Open House/End of the Year Celebration is on Friday.  He's made a lot of progress since his start on February 27th, but he still has a long way to go.  We met with his teacher and therapists on Wednesday, and they are going to pick him up for more PT as he hasn't made as much progress as we had hoped in that area.  His SLP was happy to say that he has language and it's coming along developmentally, but his articulation due to his apraxia is tough for him (as it will be).  As he adds more words, he drops more and more sounds and endings.  He is able to be understood in most contexts, but it's still very broken.

He continues to be a cuddly and sweet boy.  Lately he has grown attached to his baby, strangely named, Kick.  The other night he told his that the baby's name wasn't named Kick anymore, but we were to call it "Another Kick".  We often hear stories that the baby is sleeping and that we need to keep our voices down, and that the baby needs to be fed, "Rye now!" (right now).

I know his love for babies comes from his big sister - she plays with her Bitty Babies daily, the cute little girls at his at home daycare, and his new cousin who was born this month, Baby R:

(I love how he has his hands out to hold Baby R)

Our Bee-bee is growing up so fast:

Here she is at K-Orientation last June and this week for her "Q and U Wedding" at School.

She is growing anxious for 1st grade and at the same time, she is ready to be done with school.  She is doing so well - reading at an end of 1st grade level and still adding and subtracting numbers in her head.  She is a delight, just don't ask her to clean her room. ;)  She finished her first year of Girl Scout Daisies and her first spring soccer season and she is hooked on both.  She also had the honor of having her painted duck be in the city-wide Art Show:

Both kids and I went on an overnight camping trip up to NH a few weeks ago with the Girl Scouts and had a blast.  I hope that over the summer we can do another camping trip with hubby.

Our summer will be a busy one - Cha-cha will be at morning summer school and he will continue with 2 sessions of private speech a week.  We have a trip this month to go to the big hospital in the city to see Cha-cha's Developmental Pedi for a continuing follow up.  I signed him up for some preschool game afternoons through the rec department, so we will see how those go.  Bee-bee will go to some rec department morning camps with an art camp in the afternoon one day a week.  I'm still trying to figure out how to fit in swim lessons for the both of them, but I'm hoping we can make something work.  My parents have moved to a coastal town with property on the waterfront, so we tend to take full advantage of that. ;)  I foresee a lot of Thursday night trips up to see them so we can get an early morning start on Friday's to the beach.  We also have a big cruise coming up with my In Laws and a trip to NYC to see my best friend and her family.  It will definitely be a full, but fun summer! :)



Two Quotes and Two Wonderful Kids

"Imagine if you will, a little boy who has a dream, a dream to communicate. He wishes he could answer your question so that you understand his response. He wishes he could ask for clarification when he doesn't know exactly what you want him to say or do. He wishes to connect with his friends in their verbal play or to raise his hand in eagerness to answer his teacher. Because in his mind, he knows what he wants to say, yet he just can't get it out. Imagine this little boy is yours." - from the new book Speaking of Apraxia. A Parents Guide to Childhood Apraxia of Speech by Leslie A. Lindsay R.N, BSN

I read this last night and immediately reposted it on FB.  This is exactly what I want to say to people when they ask me what Apraxia is and how it effects our Cha-cha.  I'm so close to printing it on cards and keeping it handy to pass out to people I encounter who ask about him.  It's not that I've found many people to be rude, and I'm not doing it to be mean, but I want people to understand what it's like to be Cha-cha and have Apraxia.  The words are simple, but it paints the big picture. 

We are lucky - he's made huge progress and he tries to communicate with those he feels comfortable with.  Even though he may get frustrated about speaking, he's happy.  He loves life.  He smiles and laughs and giggles and has become a little jokester.  He's a sensitive little guy who wants to do the right thing.  He goes with the flow and is happy if you're happy.  Not to many people can say that about their kid.  We are blessed.

Then the wonderful little girl in our life said this today about Cha-cha:

"Mommy, when Cha-cha is in Kindergarten, I want him to be just like me." 

I asked her how that would be and she said, "I want him to be as smart as me.  I want him to be in the top reading group and be very good in math.  I want him to be a good listener and not get into trouble.  I'm going to help him do that mommy."

And I bet she will.

This probably hasn't been easy on her having to go to so many appointments and have attention be focused on Cha-cha so much - but she gets it.  She loves him.  She wants him to succeed.  The lessons she's learning can't be learned in a formal classroom setting.  These are life lessons and she gets it.

There's a reason God chose us to have these two children.  At times, they try our patience to no end and may drive us to a drink or two.  Our hair is a little grayer, but we have more laugh lines than what we started out having 6+ years ago.  They not only teach each other, but they teach us too.

Differences and Similarities

It's amazing how different two siblings can be.  The both have DNA from the same parents and have been brought up pretty much the same way, but they are so different.  In our house, it's almost like they both got the complete opposite DNA minus the blue eyes and occasional tongue sticking out when they are thinking chromosomes.

Bee-bee is creative in her crafts - she can cut and create and glue and create all day long.  She loves to draw and color.  Cha-cha could care less - he is creative in his play.  He loves to make his "guys" help each other, pretend to cook food on his mini grill, or build with blocks.

Bee-bee is a talker - she came out of the womb being vocal and she has remained that way since then.  She even talks in her sleep.  Once while in the car with my MIL, Bee-bee stopped talking and she thought that Bee-bee had fallen asleep...no, insisted Bee-bee, she was just taking a break from talking.  Then you have Cha-cha, who is in the process of finding his voice and using it.  He does a good job, but he lets his actions speak for himself more.

Bee-bee is a kid who will jump right into something without even thinking about it.  We worry that someday this will end us up in the emergency room and we've had some near misses.  She is enthusiastic about new adventures and seeing what is next.  Cha-cha is comfortable in his own surroundings.  When there is something new to be seen, he stays on the outskirts observing, before getting comfortable joining in.  He's not one to take risks until he's done it a few times.

There are some similarities.  Both are tall and will probably be taller than me by 5th grade.  Both have a love for animals and others.  They are social beings and enjoy being around people, just Cha-cha prefers to be around people he knows more.  Both get overtired fast and will have short tempers if their quota of sleep has not been reached.  They hate water in their eyes during bath time.  Both enjoy playing on their own and creating their own play.  It's nice for me when they can occupy their own time.  It's amazing how they are siblings and how being who they are can make them so different from each other and at the same time, how similar they truly are. 

Happy Birthday and First Day Success!

Our Cha-cha turned three today.  It baffles me that 3 years ago, he came into our lives after a rough c-section...all 10lbs 3oz and 22 inches of him.  He didn't make that c-section easy.  My spinal didn't take all the way and it was scary for me that they would cut when I could still feel things (thankfully, they didn't and it took after they tilted me in a weird way).  I remember there was a lot of commotion, the anestheiologist said that as soon as I heard suctioning, within 2 minutes, our baby would be born.  I remember minutes going by and the doctor yelling to get a vacuum from the other room and that he was turning breech on the operating table.  There was a lot of pushing - later I found out that it took 3 people to push/pull him out.  My doctor joked afterwards that she didn't need to go to the gym that day. He didn't cry right away, but as soon as we could see him on that side table, he cried.  As soon as hubby was able to hold him, he quieted down and I got to kiss his cheek.  His birth was a little different than Bee-bee's - with her, there was a lot of friendly chatter, things seemed lighter - with him, I was more nervous.  Maybe because I knew that he was our last child, maybe I was afraid of my own mortality thinking of my 3 year old girl at home.  Either way, it was different. 

The nice thing about a second child is that not a lot of people come to visit you, especially in February during a snow storm. ;)  When you're stuck at the hospital for 4 days and all you are responsible for is nursing your baby and resting, you do a lot of bonding.  You're less nervous and you know how precious those first moments are because life will quickly pass by and you'll watch your child getting on a school bus.  You have this older child who comes in the hospital and views her brother with excitement and delight.  She beams at his little features and quietly sings, "You are My Sunshine" to him.  She talks about being a family now that he's here.

Flash forward to today.  We really weren't going to celebrate a lot for his birthday today - we did a lot of celebrating last week and this weekend, so he could focus on his first day of intergrated preschool in a language based classroom.  Bee-bee woke up singing Happy Birthday to him and cheering him on about being 3.  I made his special pancakes and he picked out a tiger shirt to wear to school.  He reminded us of his new teachers' names, talked about riding the bus, and me picking him up at the end of the day.

We dropped off Bee-bee and hubby and I drove to his school.  We were greeted at the door by his new teacher and she led him into the classrom and showed him the morning routine - hanging up his coat and backpack, putting his snack on the shelf in his cubby, making his mark next to his name (in which he put the cap back on the cover and made sure it was in the marker box - to which the teacher winked at me and said, "He's done this before, you can tell."), and then washing his hands.  I asked him for a high five and he looked at hubby and I and said, "Good-bye Mommy Daddy" and he spun around and off he went.  Hubby and I looked at each other and said goodbye to the other teacher and walked out.  As soon as we hit the cold air, we looked at each other an laughed.  All that nervous energy, all that planning and worry - and that is how he reacted.  I mentioned on FB today that God didn't let him cry - God knew I couldn't handle his tears today.  My own were hard enough to handle.

At the end of the day, he had a great first day.  He rode the bus and he went to daycare after school just fine (however he didn't nap).  He went to his afternoon/evening speech session and worked hard for 57/60 minutes he was there.  Three minutes before leaving, he looked at his SLP and said, "I done.  Good-bye" and walked out the therapy room door.  He was tired, he was done with the day.  He came home, we watched Curious George, ate dinner and went to bed after reading 2 books.  He asked for cuddles and gave me kisses goodnight.

Oh, and if you ask him how old he is, you will not hear him say, "Fu-wee"...no, he will tell you that he's five.  He better not grow up that fast!

Saying Good-bye to EI

Today was our last meeting with EI.  It was so sad to see them go.  Our Developmental Specialist has been with us since Cha-cha was 7 months old...she was there when he learned to crawl, sit up, and say his first sounds.  The SLP took over as lead when we had the diagnosis of Apraxia, even though we had been seeing her for a good 8 months beforehand.  And the OT started once we found out about his SPD.  These three women worked tirelessly up to 4-5 times a week combined, meeting with him, going to his school, meeting with his teacher, and us as a family.  They were my go to if I had a question, concern, or wanted to share an accomplishment.  We exchange texts over funny Cha-cha-isms, fun things like our current level of "Where's the Water?" or other cool apps and websites for children ourselves.  They've attended doctor's appointments, fielding questions when we became overwhelmed, adding in additional information when necessary, and collaborated with others to bring out the best for Cha-cha.  It's a bittersweet day - Cha-cha is old enough now for school aged services and has made so much progress under their services.  How I wish we lived in a state where services would continue to the next beginning school year or until age 5, but I know that he will continue to thrive and grow with other means of support.

Cha-cha said good bye pretty nonchalantly.  At one point he even hid in his room, but then was able to come out and hug and wave them off.  He enjoyed the balloon, card and cupcakes they brought to celebrate his birthday and his accomplishments.  I shed a few tears, as did they - but I wasn't expecting Bee-bee to take it so hard. 

She had uncontrollable sobs as they pulled away.  She understands that this is it - and unless we have some by chance passing, we may not see them again.  She gets it.  The Developmental Specialist has been here since she was 3 1/2.  Because of these wonderful women, our daughter uses words like prompt, utterance, plural, intonation, and consonant-vowel sounds.  Yes, I see a future Speech Pathologist on our hands.  Over the summer she said to me, "Mommy, I don't know if I should be studying my Kindergarten stuff or my Speech Pathologist stuff."  She has sat through almost every home visit and watched and then mimicked these women after they left.  It was because of Bee-bee, we got Cha-cha to say "Ma-ma" and "Bee-bee" through her prompting.  So many times our focus has been on Cha-cha and when you turn around, it's been Bee-bee's focus too.  It's hard to remember that she's just a 6 year old, but a 6 year old who understands what it's like to work hard, to reach limits, and still demand more.  With Cha-cha's diagnosis and therapies, she's seen someone younger than herself defy what doctors have suggested.  It's a lesson that can not be replicated in any classroom or told by any book.  I hope she always remembers this. :)

Martin Luther King, Jr...through the eyes of a Kindergartener

Bee-bee came home from school today asking, "Mommy, have you ever heard about a man named Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr?"  I told her that I had, and she said that she's learned a lot about him over the past week at school.

"Mommy, did you know he won a prize for peace?"

"Did you know that bad guys killed him?"

"Did you know he had many dreams?"

She then went on to repeat the first few lines of his "I have a dream" speech. :)

Later on tonight, she was explaining who he was to Cha-cha while we were sitting in the other room...

"He wanted his children to be able to do the same things as white children.  See, they didn't have white skin like you and me, they had dark skin.  He wanted to be a leader of the church because they make rules.  At least I think they make rules.  It might not have been the church, maybe it was something else.  He wanted people to be judged by their character, not their skin color."

She was very proud of learning about MLK, Jr today. :)  Her memory is better than the Christopher Columbus incident. ;)

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from all of us! :)

We are off soon to the Zoo Lights - our Christmas Eve tradition for the past couple of years, followed by a visit to my Auntie J's house (who took our wonderful Christmas card pictures).  Tomorrow the kiddos will open their presents here at home and we'll have Christmas Dinner at my parents house.  Later in the week, we'll celebrate with my In-Laws. 

The kids are so excited for Santa to come tonight and open their presents.  Both kiddos woke up this morning in a glorious mood, singing and laughing.  Bee-bee was making up a song saying, "Today is going to be a great day! It's a great life!" Cha-cha was doing his best to keep up. :)

Lately, we've been noticing Cha-cha having bouts of trying to talk, but he can't get it out.  This was bound to happen with the language explosion he's been having.  He tries so hard to tell us something, but we can't understand him.  We've tried to tell him to slow down, to repeat it again, and to try to tell us a different way - but it doesn't always work.  Hubby and I will look at each other and blame it on Apraxia.  He still is cracking us up - he was trying to find one of his many puppies this morning and I found it on the couch and I said, "Here he is!" to which he said, "Hi see!" for hide and seek.  Just proof that he gets it all, but just can't get it out.  At this age, Bee-bee had imaginary friends/cats named Pass-stone and Wanda - I said to Hubby last night that if Cha-cha didn't have Apraxia, he probably would have imaginary friends too.  He probably does have them, we just don't know about them.  Some days my wish is to just be in his brain for a day to know what he's thinking about.  We can get general ideas of his feelings, but to know his thoughts would be the best gift ever.  I have to remain thankful that we have made so much progress in 6 short months - but at the same time, we have a long way to go.

Trick or Treat

It's that time of year - Halloween!  I have been busy making Bee-bee's Rapunzel costume - all that is left is to hot glue gun flowers to her long braid.  She can't wait to wear it to school and show it off - she is even more excited to wear it to Cha-cha's therapy appointment before we go and show Miss E her outfit.

Cha-cha, well, being excited about Halloween is difficult when you don't understand what's going on.  We have asked him and showed him pictures of costumes - I've taken him into Target and stores and he turns his nose to everything.  Last year we tortured him and put him in this big fluffy dog outfit and he hated it about 50% of the time he had it on.  He refused to put it on at school and he ended up wearing a fire fighter dress up outfit.  This year, somehow, we got him to say yes to a garbage man, but any time you ask him, he says no.  So I made up two t-shirts and I'm praying he will put one of them on tomorrow at his preschool/daycare.  One is a yellow shirt with a zig-zag like Charlie Brown and the other is a green shirt with a "WM" on the back like a garbage man. 

We explained Trick or Treating to him and tried to get him to say "Trick or Treat"...right now he either refuses to say it or will say, "reet" and walk away.  I'm pretty sure he'll "get it" when we are out there getting candy, but for now, I don't know how much he understands about all of it.  Who knows - is he afraid of having to say something to get the candy?  He still doesn't say "Thank you" out loud - he signs it.  So it will look like the garbage man is blowing kisses...which is sort of funny.  Thankfully, we are very friendly with our neighbors and they all know Cha-cha and will love him regardless if he's wearing a costume or not.

Today a coworker gave me the idea of having him hold up a sign that says, "Thank you!"  I don't know if he'll last more than a half dozen houses, but if he does, I think I'll make one and bring it along.

Christopher Columbus from a Kindergartener's Point of View

Bee-bee drew this picture in art class:

I told her that I loved her ship and she said, "We're learning about a long, long time ago - 1982!  This guy was trying to find India from Libya.  One of his ships was called the Santa Maria.  That's what I drew.  It's a sunset.  The art teacher told us that we had to draw an island on it, can you find it?"

Later on, she told me that Christopher Columbus came here for the following reasons, "To get gold.  Gold and food."

And that folks is why we have Monday off.

We made it through September!

Yesterday was the last day of the month - and we made it!  We have all been back in school for at least 4 weeks and the house is still standing.  With one exception due to an unexpected doctor's appointment, everyone has made it to work or school ontime!  No one had to take a sick day (watch, next month there will be 5) and despite a minor cold for me and allergic reactions to mosquitoes for Cha-cha, we were healthy!  I call that success!

My school year is going well - I'm loving the transition to a lower grade and I really love my students.  I love their excitement and enthusiasm.  They get excited about the littlest things and I love that!  I'm enjoying my new team and they have made the transition so easy for me.  I have never been this organized in my 9 years of being a classroom teacher - granted, I had a brand new empty classroom to start with - but they are so on top of photocopying and planning that I never feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants or rushing to get things done.

Bee-bee is doing well in school - maybe a little too well...I went in to talk to her teacher about her and one of the things I mentioned is that she is a little bored of the school work.  Thankfully, the K screening is this week and I'm hoping they are going to be able to differentiate lessons so she is challenged.  Sadly, no one signed up for the art class she wanted to take, so it was canceled, but she is signed up for Daisys and if no one steps up to be the troop leader, I'm going to do it.  I feel bad as she needs something to look forward to and she doesn't want to do dance, she can't do soccer until the spring, and we missed the boat for swim signups.  She is making friends and has a best friend in her class already - her mom and I are playing phone tag, but we hope to get the girls together for a playdate soon.

And then we have Cha-cha...this has been a good month for him in a lot of ways.  He has gone from sitting by himself and hanging out with the teachers during outside time, to running and chasing the kids in their unorganized tag/chase games.  When he wants to join in on an activity, he points to himself and yells, "Me!" and rarely gets a teacher to help him join in.  His language is making progress in many ways.  He doesn't have too many new words, but he's using his old words more and more.  Recently we've heard a few 2 word utterances such as, /ma-ma coo/, /bee-bee coo/, and /cha-cha coo/ for Mama's school, Bee-bee's school, and Cha-cha's school.  He also has said /shz uh/ for shoes off and the other night we heard /go ca peaz/ for go car please, when he wanted to go for a ride.  He is learning his colors and can say in his own way, yellow, purple, blue and pink.  His new greeting is the French version of hello - /allo/ - it is freaking hysterical, even when he's suppose to be going to sleep and he pops up and yells, "Allo!"  It constantly makes hubby and I laugh.

An exciting thing happened this week too during his EI SLP session - she came in with the OT and we were chatting, Cha-cha pulled out some of her toys and started scripting his own play with a ball toy - saying /up/, /go/, /duh/ for down, and /eh/ for in with no prompting.  Then he took out the farm animals and started making them eat saying /num-num/ and saying some of their sounds without prompting...his SLP burst into happy tears and said, "I've never seen him do that on his own without any prompting!"  Of course, this is something we've been working on with him for over a year now - and he can finally do it on his own.

Of course, then you have setbacks...we are currently in a sleeping hell with Cha-cha - he won't stay in his toddler bed and he won't stay asleep.  For the first two weeks of school with all the craziness, we were sitting outside his bedroom for a good 2 hours and were getting nowhere.  We drive him around to get to sleep and he wakes up an hour later (at 11pm).  If he happens to fall asleep and we move him to his bed, by 3am he is up and wanting to come to our bed.  It was never our intention to have him sleep with us - but we were desperate - we all needed to get more than 5 hours of sleep a night - and now we've created a small monster.  On top of that, we've seen his sensory issues go to another extreme at night - it's almost like we spend all day long getting his motor running, that in the evening, you can't stop him.  He tosses and twirls and flips in his bed - he's wired.  Thankfully, we are starting sessions with an OT next week and we're going to be looking at some brushing techniques to see if that will help calm his motor at night, as well as looking into a weighted blanket for him.

Another issue is that he's not excited to see his therapists come to his school.  When his Developmental Specialist, who he has seen since he was 7 months old, comes to daycare he runs to the door and tells her to "Go!" and "No!" and "Bu-bye!"  Eventually he will work with her, but he's very slow to warm up.  Same with his SLP - he's starting to tell her to "Go" and doesn't want to work with her.  His outside SLP, when she pushes him, he pushes back and tells her to "Move" and "Go"  Granted, we're excited that he's communicating his wants, but at the same time, it makes everyone wonder if we're pushing him too much.  I would say that at least 50 minutes out of the hour sessions, he's working and enjoying himself - so for 10 minutes of discomfort for everyone, he does get into things and is laughing and playing for the rest of the time.

Now we're on to a new month - we're going to keep doing the things we're doing in terms of therapy with Cha-cha and add some OT to see if we can keep things going in the right direction.  We're going to try to let him cry it out for sleep so we can have our bed back.  I'm going to start a homeschool math curriculum with Bee-bee to try to challenge her.  We're going to enjoy the fall weather and do apple picking and fun fall things. 

Clothing and Shoes for Girls

Clothes shopping for children is extremely complicated. 

Bee-Bee is a very tall girl - right now, she is measuring 49 inches and she is only 5 1/2.  Right now, her current size could be a 6, 6X, 7, or 7/8.  It all depends on the manufacturer.  Last night, we were at our local Kohl's and some of the young girls section went to 6X and some went to 7, head over to the girls section, and they start at a 7.  The size 7 sweatpants from the young girls did not match the size 7 from the girls section, yet they were made by the same Kohl's company. 

Now Bee-bee doesn't like sweatpants, however it was the ONLY non-slutty clothing I would agree to put her in.  Yes, for some reason, slutty is in for the 5-7 crowd.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a little black on a child - I find black leggings and an bright colored tunic adorable.  But rhinestone black leggings and a skin tight (even at a size 8) shirt, that will barely cover her bottom that has more rhinestones?  Yes, we stepped away quickly.  If it's not the black, it's the fake shirt underneath the sweater look.  I've never understood why an adult choose that, never mind for a kid.  It will never look like a true layered look.  It will always look like a sweater with fake sleeves and a collar sewn in...oh and did I mention that it was in black?

Right now, we are very blessed that she is in love with her smocked dresses and any dress that twirls and spins around and shows off her leggings underneath...yes, I make her wear leggings as she wears Princess undies (the only character clothing I will ever purchase her - character clothing is another whole rant of mine).  I have told her that she has to wear leggings under her dresses, because if I ever get a call from school that she was showing the "Princesses" to others, I would be mortified. ;)  Last night, seeing her skip down the aisle of Kohl's in her back to school, apple smocked dress made me smile - she still is a 5 year old.

And shoes...for some reason, Bee-bee thinks that wearing her white summer sandals with her brightly colored socks that Nana-bee bought her is amazing.  I've tried to tell her a million times (ok, maybe only 10) that her new found "look" is not a great style.  She has two pairs of good, sturdy school shoes - black maryjanes (with no rhinestones, twinkle lights, or glitter) and a pair of sneakers that I was blessed to find with elastics and no laces (who knew they stop making velcro shoes at size 13...sucks for my size 1 kid!).

Last night, she was trying a bunch of shoes on while we were shoe shopping for Cha-cha.  I almost died when I saw her putting on high heels that pretty much fit her foot.  All of the shoes were slip ons and therefore right up her alley.  She saw the Twinkle Toes shoes, but oh man, $45 for a pair of sneakers that light up the night sky is just a little too much to pay.  For some reason, her last pair that I got on a huge sale, ripped at the toes in just a matter of a few weeks.  Yes, they are adorable, but not if they are going to wear out so fast.

Sadly, Bee-bee didn't get anything new last night.  I reminded her that she has a closet full of new dresses still and leggings to be worn underneath them.  She smiled and said, "Oh, yeah!" when I reminded her.  My 30% off coupon went to Cha-cha and his new sneakers and 2 outfits.  His only requirement for clothing?  That it be comfortable and have a graphic of a car, truck, digger, airplane, or rocket ship.  Very easy to do in a 4T! :)

Whirl Wind Wednesday

We are in the middle of the week - WEDNESDAY!  My things are going fast - I don't think I've ever been this exhausted...well, yes I have, but it's been a long time since I felt this way.  School is in full swing and I am so happy that I made some big changes in my teaching career last year.  Teaching a new grade level has been refreshing and fun.  Even today when I was getting tired of asking a few students to do the same thing over and over - I reminded myself that I was enjoying where I was, who I was working with, and loving my new students.  I had a parent phone call after school that made me smile and it sealed the deal that this is where I'm suppose to be.

At the same time, our after school life is a little crazy - two different pick ups, therapy, art lessons, and now I'm trying to throw swim lessons into the mix - add the "regular" things like lunch making, dinner, baths, homework (for K! eeek!), and bedtimes and I'm lucky to sit down by 8:00pm. 

Bee-bee is loving school and when I find time to find my cord and upload pictures, I have a few cute ones of her first day of K.  She loves her teacher, she loves learning her letters (that she's already learned), and she loves commenting on other kids' behaviors...yeah, that one I need to put to rest soon.  Being a teacher, I love how she comments on how her teacher runs her classroom - she is fascinated that the tables have the same color chairs, so the teacher only has to call out, "Will the yellow chairs please line up..."  She loves her mailbox at school where she gets her daily forms for mommy to fill out and return the next day (seriously, how many more forms can I put my name, phone number, and emergency contact on?).  Yes, I think we have a future school teacher on our hands.

Little man is plugging along.  I think he is finally opening up at school.  They are hearing more sounds and more word attempts than the first week where all I think he did was sign and gesture.  He really is a trooper.  Yesterday, we have no idea how this happened, but he was bit by a nasty mosquito at least 15 times on his face/head and back of his legs.  He looked like he was left outside overnight for 10 hours, yet he was inside all night, sleeping right next to me (yeah, this bedtime/sleeping thing requires a whole post in itself).  Hubby ran some benedryl over to him and he seemed fine all day - never once scratched or complained.  The "blessing" of his SPD means that he doesn't feel light pain.  He could get a minor cut/scratch or bite from a bug and not feel it.  He currently has a scratch on his foot and we have no idea how it happened - all we know is that it happened at home and between a certain time frame, but when it happened, he never shouted, cried, yelled, or showed us.  I just noticed it on his foot with a little blood.  We go to his pedi on Friday (yet another thing to add to my afternoons) and I'm hoping she can help us out with these ballooning bug bites and seeing if she has ideas of his lack of feeling minor pain. 

Other than that, we are plugging along - he is definitely pushing himself more in his therapy and he really loves his outside therapist, Emily.  All I have to say is, "Do you want to see Miss Emily?" and he is running for the door.  When we get there, he insists on pressing the elevator button and I pretend I don't know where I'm going and he thinks it's the best thing on earth as he shows me where to go and yells, "ka!" (come) as he runs down the hallway.  We're really lucky that we found her.

We have a big weekend coming up - more about that later!  Time for the Whirl Wind Wednesday to start! :)

Back to Work...

The end of summer is a tough time for me - anxiety starts to creep up around the beginning of August as the back to school sale signs come out (this year, they started around the 4th of July).  I am blessed to have a job as a teacher - in this area of the US, it can be pretty hard to find work as an elementary school teacher - I really like my job, I love working with kids and I love seeing children grow and learn...however I'm doing that with someone else's child and not my own kiddos.

My dream job would be to be paid the same salary and work part time teaching - it's just not possible for us to live with out my salary.  Living where we do - close to a major city with an expensive housing market, and living within 2 miles of our jobs, we are very fortunate.  However, going back to work is nerve wracking after having two wonderful months off of "work" with my children (because even though my 7-3:30 job is over, my job is a mother is never over).  Every fall it's hard.  Hubby always comments that my worst two months are September and June.  It's true, the stress level is high, trying to coordinate schedules and child care is crazy - and I can pretty much guarantee that both children will come down with some weird illness within 3 weeks of school (two years ago, it was the first day of school) and require me to take a sick day.

I think what makes this year different is having a child go off to Kindergarten.  Luckily, her teacher is a parent of two former students I had the pleasure of having.  This parent is a wonderful mother, so I know Bee-bee is in very good hands.  I know that she will be just fine there - my biggest fear is that her creativity will be stifled.  She is a naive child in the sense she has been sheltered from  Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel - she's pretty much been a PBS kid.  Seeing commercials for cleaning products on Animal Planet intrigues her and she begs me to buy them so our house will sparkle and shine.  I commented to hubby the other day that I fear our house has more technology than the school she's going to.  He was kind to point out that since we do have the tech in the house, she will be fine.  During our visit in June, they had 1980s Letter People on the wall and no active school website or blog.  Despite these setbacks, they still produce children who are successful, so they have to be doing something right...right?

Another fear of going back to work, and I know I've discussed it on here before, is Little Man - seeing his progress, I fear him regressing.  I think that last week, he managed to get through the three days with just gestures and signs.  I doubt he actually said a word all day long.  One of his teachers commented that he got angry with her and he did a fantastic job signing go, no and then help - all words he has "sounds" for.  I gently reminded that he can use sounds and should be prompted to use them.  His sleep has already been messed with - he's napping at school anywhere from 45 minutes to 90 minutes.  This summer, he barely napped - which meant he was in bed by 7pm...now even putting him to bed at 7:30pm, he's rocking it out in his toddler bed until well after 10pm. 

(One of our 10:30 rock out sessions)

Even though I miss my children greatly when I'm at work, the time goes by very fast and I work with wonderful kids who challenge and teach me.  Working with my students helps me be a better parent, just as my own two children teach me to be a better teacher.  For example, before this summer, SPD was just something I read about on IEPs or was talked about in conversations with specialists and examples of strategies were given to me to use in the classroom.  I had no idea that there was SPD with an underresponsive subtype.  I spent a lot of my summer reading about kids with Apraxia and SPD, as well as other neurological impairments - having a child with special needs has pushed me to learn more about the subject.

So as I head back to set up my classroom tomorrow, I have many mixed feelings - I'm excited about my new grade level, new grade level teammates, and brand new school.  I'm excited about hosting a student teacher in my classroom.  I'm excited about building a classroom community with new students from other schools.  I'm excited that my Big Girl is excited about Kindergarten and learning.  I'm excited that Little Man is getting social interaction with language-rich peer role models...at the same time, I'm sad that someone else gets to experience my kids for 6+ hours a day...I know it's important for our children to grow wings and be part of a "village" so they learn and grow - but it's hard not being there to see it happen first hand.  At least I have my late afternoons, evenings, weekends and vacations to saviour my children - for that I am truly grateful. :)

Here's to a wonderful summer - we laughed, we played, we learned, we created...we frolicked at the beach, played at nature's playgrounds, and saw friends and family.  Here's to a great school year - may it be productive, enlightening, educational, and fun!

Big Sister Interview

Bee-bee starts Kindergarten on Thursday, and I thought I'd interview her for the blog.  When I told her, she asked, "What's a blog?"  I told her it's where mommy writes down her thoughts for others to read and she said, "Oh, that's good."  Here are her thoughts...

What was the favorite thing you did this summer?
Canobie Lake Park!  I liked the flume ride when you go down in the log and get wet.

What's your favorite movie right now?
I like Momma Mia.  I like the wedding part and the S.O.S. song.

What's the best thing about being a big sister?
Nothing.

What's the hardest part about being a big sister?
I have to watch him and make sure he doesn't get into my things.

What's your favorite thing about your house?
I love my new bedroom.
What are you most excited about starting Kindergarten?
Lunch.  I'm excited about buying my own lunch.

What are you a little bit nervous about?
I'm a little nervous about...I don't know.

What's your favorite food?
Cereal and milk in a drink bowl.

What's your favorite drink?
Apple Juice.

Favorite toy?
Jewel, my American Girl Bitty Baby.

What do you hope for?
To buy things at the American Girl Store.

What do you enjoy doing?
Playing with my American Girl things and doing projects.

Yup, that's her in a nutshell!

T.G.I.Friday!

Long, long week...Thankfully, it's ended on a positive note, but it's been a long one!

We spent last weekend launching Operation Room Switch - Beebee (Little Man's name for his big sister) is being moved into the office, Little Man is moving into Beebee's old room, and the office is being moved into the nursery off of our bedroom (along with becoming a closet).  It is time, however we have accumulated waaaaay too much crap - way too much.  We are blessed to have so many people who love and adore our children, who love to buy them stuff or give them stuff.  Hubby has made many trips to the Salvation Army drop off and we still could get a dumpster.  The downfall of having a small cape for a house, is that we don't have much of a staging area to hold the contents of the room while it's being cleaned and painted.  Thankfully, I have a very patient father who has helped us out with the painting process and a very patient husband to help me with moving stuff.  Oh, have I mentioned that I also went back to work this week to unpack into a brand new classroom?  Yes, Operation Room Switch should have happened earlier in the summer...poor planning on my part.

Anyway, I chose orange and yellow for Little Man's room, while Beebee picked a lovely pink and purple for her walls:

We are slowly getting there and tonight BeeBee is spending her first night in her room (that still needs decorations and organizing):

Mean while, tonight is Little Man's last night in his cribby - tomorrow we will be moving him to his big boy bed in his new room.  I think he understands what we're doing, but since he can't verbalize it, it's hard to know exactly what he knows of his "new room" and "new bed."  I was thinking of making a sticker chart for him for staying in his bed and having him earn a small fish tank in his room.  I don't know how much he can understand about that, but I'm curious if it will work.

We had a good week over all - Beebee got to spend two nights with Nana-bee so Little Man had some uninterrupted therapy times and I could get some unpacking done of at work and organizing done at home.  He worked really hard in therapy this week and starts his outside therapy tomorrow.  Here are some additional highlights of the week:

Buddy-Dog got upset that Little Man fell asleep and couldn't play.

Little man with his Big Dog and broom - some of his favorite things.

Beebee at the "tavern" after Daddy's soccer game, explaining to one of Daddy's single teammates all about how to be a mommy to a Bitty Baby...I'm sure he was thrilled.

My old school being torn down...it's a little sad, but I'm super excited for my new room and my new teaching team! :)

And my loves tonight...I've been feeling cruddy and I ended up canceling going out tonight to stay home and rest...these three made me smile tons though. :)

We have a busy week coming up - new therapist for Little Man, more unpacking and setting up at work, Little Man's 6 month Early Intervention evaluation, IFSP meeting, daycare meeting for Little Man, and continuing to set up the new bedrooms.  Happy last week of Summer Vacation! :)